Why do shy guys like outgoing girls

She turns to face him, looking into his eyes expectantly. He returns her gaze and pauses for a moment, and a little longer, and a bit longer still Afterward he's kicking himself for being so spineless. He was trying to work up the nerve to kiss her all evening, and kept wondering if now was the right time to do it, but in the end he couldn't pull the trigger.

One key fear guys have in this situation if they're sexually inexperienced is that their embarrassing secret will be outed, and they'll be humiliated. They may think something like, "I've never kissed a woman. I don't know what I'm doing. What if she can tell I've never done this before? And when you're really inexperienced yourself it seems that's pretty much every woman.

Part of this comes from a belief that no woman would be interested in a shy guy if she's had already had a few boyfriends. It also goes back to that point I mentioned in the last paragraph about them fearing their inexperience being outed.

This hinders shy men in two ways. First, they'll often rule out more-obviously experienced women as prospects. Too scary. Only harmless, innocent-seeming women don't arouse their fears. But there are only so many women out there who are just as shy and inexperienced as them, so it really cuts down their possibilities, and makes them put that much more pressure on themselves when they do find one who fits the description.

Secondly, if he's into a woman, and she seems into him, and she says something that draws attention to her comparatively higher level of experience e. She seems a lot more daunting now. And they figure, why would she want him? She has experience, he doesn't. It'd never work out. With time many anxious guys can slowly face their fears and gain enough experience with the opposite sex that they're not as held back by their anxiety as they used to be. They can start dating like everyone else.

However, they may always have a tougher time of it than some men. They're often late bloomers, since their nerves and general social awkwardness kept them from getting into the dating game as early as everyone else. Article continues below SPONSORED Free training: "How to double your social confidence in 5 minutes" On the link below you'll find a training series focused on how to feel at ease socially, even if you tend to overthink today.

It also covers how to avoid awkward silence, attract amazing friends, and why you don't need an "interesting life" to make interesting conversation.

Click here to go to the free training. When a guy is shy and unconfident about his love life insecure thoughts often flow through his head in an effortless stream - "I'm hopeless. I'll never get better. I suck with women. I'm a loser. I'm not good looking enough.

There's no way that woman at work actually likes me. I totally screwed up with her the other day when I made that dumb joke. I give up. It's all quite self-sabotaging. First, a lack of confidence isn't super-attractive. Next, they can be hyper-alert for any signs of rejection, and almost eager to conclude the worst. For example, if they're casually chatting to a woman and she mentions a TV show that he doesn't like, he may get deflated and think, "Ah man, she likes that show?

There's no way she'll be into me now. Dammit, another prospect hasn't panned out. Story of my life. I'll never meet anyone. A lot of what I've mentioned so far hints at this.

Almost unconsciously shy guys can have the attitude that in order to get a girlfriend the world has to send them one packaged in such a way that they won't feel anxious or have to do anything that pushes them out of their comfort zone. They figure everything will finally work out one day when they stumble onto a woman who naturally likes them, who they won't have to take the initiative to talk to, who they won't have to ask out, and who has the magic combination of qualities which ensures he never feels nervous around her.

It's also really common for shyer guys to fantasize about meeting a really forward, take charge woman who makes all the scary moves for them. She asks him out, she kisses him first, etc. However, if a guy is really shy he may still balk in the face of someone so direct, and still miss his chance.

The idea that if they want a girlfriend they'll have to actively work on finding one, or that they'll have to learn to cope with their nervousness , isn't on the map. Nope, they just have to meet the perfect woman under the perfect circumstances, where they'll be guided by rails with no room to screw up.

They have thoughts such as: "Well I didn't meet any women this semester. Maybe in next semester's classes I'll randomly end up sitting beside the person of my dreams", or "Maybe at my job the woman I like will be assigned to work on a project with me all day", or "Maybe this time when I go to the bar and just stand around all night a woman will walk up and seduce me.

When a guy is shy and inexperienced with women he usually isn't immersed in female company or the dating and hook up scene. He may also be socially inexperienced or isolated in general, because he likes to keep to himself or doesn't have a ton of friends. That means shy guys get their ideas of what dating and relationships are like from sources like movies, TV shows, the internet, and snippets of conversation they've heard from other people. Shy guys can develop a caricatured, romanticized view of relationships, because they've seen too many romantic comedies or high school dramas with Hollywood endings.

According to their "education" the beautiful cheerleader always wants a caring, sensitive guy who likes her for her. The female lead wants a nice guy to save her from the all the jerks she normally attracts.

Women are sweet, innocent creatures that need to be nurtured. Shy guys have a blind spot for the reality that some women might get drunk and make out with a hot guy just for the hell of it, or that they could have a friend with benefits, or that they would want to casually date a few people at once. This can make shy guys pretty clueless about dating protocol. People in a guy's age group may not even really "date" in the classic sense at all, but he wouldn't know it because that's what people do in the movies and on TV.

They may wonder things like: "How exactly do you ask a woman out? Continuing on the theme of having an over-romanticized view of dating: When a shy, inexperienced guy finds a woman he likes, his thoughts often aren't, "She seems fun. Maybe we can hang out a few times and see where it goes. She's my dream girl. I just want to cuddle her by the ocean for hours as we watch the shooting stars above.

Boy, better not screw that one up. Since they don't try to create their own options, whenever a half-decent woman comes into the life of a shy guy through school, work, or his social circle, his mind immediately leaps to, "Could this be the one??? If a guy has a shy girlfriend at home then he will be less worried about having a long trip away from home than the man who has an extrovert girlfriend at home.

A woman who has tons of acquaintances and a large friend circle can be very intimidating for some men. A lot of guys like challenges. Bashful beauties are actually a sort of puzzle that needs to be solved. Some shy girls are hard to get and this makes things more interesting for guys. When shy girls finally open up to guys, it is actually very sweet. This drastically reduces the chances of letting out the secrets. Guys are protective by nature. They like to protect their loved ones in some way or the other.

Shy girls may even have a bit of a mysterious or intriguing vibe to some individuals. A shy girl who may not share her feelings openly right away doesn't always wear her heart or emotions on her sleeves. A shy girl may seem more reserved, and it may take time for her to open up, making her appear more mysterious. A shy girl may not seem like an open book, so for another individual, it may take some time for them to get to know her and to unravel her secrets.

This may keep a man or individual interested in getting to know this shy individual better, and they may like the challenge of getting a shy girl to open up to him over time. It may also make this individual feel incredibly special when she finally opens up and knows that they were able to get to know this shy individual who doesn't just open up to everyone very easily.

For some individuals, shy girls may seem to be very appealing and feminine. This isn't necessarily true in all instances or for all individuals, but for some, it's possible they feel this way about shy girls.

When a girl is shy, traditionally, that is often seen as very feminine men who have more traditional values, they may be more interested in taking charge of the relationship.

In this case, they may prefer a partner that is shyer than someone extroverted and outgoing. When a partner is shyer, they are usually more submissive than someone who has a more outgoing personality. A shy partner makes it easier for the other partner to take the lead and make the relationship's decision-maker. If someone prefers these introverted qualities in a partner and likes to take the lead, they will most likely prefer a shy girl. Of Course, not every individual will feel this way.

Some men enjoy girls or partners to be more dominant and outgoing as well. It depends on the individual and what they desire in a potential partner. Being shy is sometimes associated with innocence, as shy individuals tend to be more reserved than those that are more outgoing.

Of Course, that is not always the reality, but shy girls are often perceived as innocent. A potential partner might think that shy girls exude a certain type of innocent charm about them. A shy girl may come across as more introverted or timid. This mysterious nature of a shy girl could be an appealing quality that will attract certain potential partners that desire this quality in a mate.

Some people may find outgoing girls to be a lot of fun to be around, and many people may enjoy dating outgoing girls. These types of girls or partners are often considered to be the life of the party. Ann's outgoing girl may be open to trying new or interesting things. Outgoing girls tend to be more outspoken or have strong opinions about things and may often be seen as fearless to some.

Dating an outgoing girl could help individuals get out of their comfort zone and try things they may not have tried before. Outgoing individuals tend to have a lot of friends and may seem like social butterflies. They feel comfortable talking to people and socializing. This can be very attractive to some individuals, and it could lead to a very satisfying relationship. Some outgoing girls may have the courage to make the first move and pursue a potential partner.

Traditionally, men are often the ones who pursue people they are interested in and take the lead. However, this outdated idea is rapidly changing as society continues to challenge gender norms and conventions. It can be very refreshing for many individuals to have a girl who will initiate conversation and say she is interested in you. Some guys will find it attractive to have a girl or potential partner pursue them, while others may find it more off-putting as they like to be the one to do the pursuing.

It depends on what that particular individual finds desirable in a potential partner. An outgoing girl may not wait for an individual to make the first move and prefers to initiate a conversation with someone she is interested in. She might create her opportunity to pursue someone she likes and decide to seize that opportunity.